Heading to the knackers yard

I thinks its time I goes!!! after a sugar spikes and a rise in my HBC1 ( or hsbc as I called it) I am to start Metformin, it was ultimately my decision but you cant mess about with Diabetes. I have children and a hubbie to look after, and I cant do that with missing toes/fingers/limbs and ultimately life - and I have myself and college/uni to consider too!

My cholesterol isn't brilliant either so i've to start statins for that. My blood pressure was on the high side 162/95 and the last time it was checked it was 149/90 - so if it doesnt come down, i'm heading for blood pressure tablets too.

I am however having a last hurrah - you cant really drink on metformin, so i'm out tomorrow night with my girlies from college - and i will start taking my tablets on sunday.

Enough is enough

I bought myself a book called the power of no, i've only read the first few chapters - and already its speaking volumes to me. Another thing that has got me thinking is a status viral doing the rounds on facebook, a baby loss one. SO i reposted it as my status and put that it was 8 yrs on the 7th of Jan since I lost our first baby.

Last night in bed it hit me that I have been sad for 8 years, 8 YEARS!!!! if i live to be 80 I will have been sad for 10% of my life and that is a blimming long time. I cant go on like this, if I do it will be another 8 years and 20% of my life gone - so I am going to try my hardest to be less sad and I am going to be kinder to myself and less critical of myself and I am going to learn to say no, and not feel gulity about it. I am worthy of being on this planet, I am worthy of peoples love, so lets see how I get on.