on the advice of a good friend........

..........and to stop my head imploding, im adding to my blog again.

Its a typical Saz whinge but i have to get it out of my brain as its driving my crazy.

My thoughts are going a mile a minute, is the baby going to be okay?, is it another boy?, will it be like harry if it is?, will we cope?, will i get Maternity Allowance?, how the hell are we going to fit 3 kids in to shoebox bedrooms?, are mid sleepers the way to go? is that pain spd coming back? will i be left diabetic this time round?, why cant i get as good a control as I would like? can i potty train Harry in time?, what is Abbie going to do if the scan shows the baby is a boy? how is harry gonna cope with a baby? how am i gonna cope with harry coping with the baby? how will harry settle at nursery?, and will he be okay as the baby is due 3 weeks after he starts nursery? What the hell are we going to call the baby?

these worries fill my head every waking minute, and my sleeping minutes are disturbed with leg cramps and the need to pee.

I feel horrid at the moment, i feel everything is my fault, i should be able to put these things right, and i cant,i thnk i have cried everyday for the past 3 days, i feel so sorry for Stew, he comes home from work to 2 whingy kids and a stressed out hormonal wife, some days i think he doesn't want to come home, i cant blame him, i wouldnt want to come home to that either.

I'm so worried about getting the depression again that i think im pushing myself towards it, and i dont know what to do to stop it, i feel quite lost.

I know it will all fall into place it has to and it always does, but it doesnt stop me stressing along the way, i really think i need to get a grip or a life, or mebbe both , who knows??? I certainly dont!

toddler bladders and all associated trauma!

can some one please tell me why i thought it would be a good idea to try and day train Harry while night training Abbie???

Ab's bless her has been really good, today was the first day she had woken up wet in 14 days ( only 7th without a dry nite on), i think she wet because she went to bed later than usual and she was in a DEEP sleep when i went to lift her, so the water proof sheet is on the line and i'm praying the rain we had this morning doesnt come back!

Harry was brilliant yesterday, at playgroup H told carol he wanted a wee and he did a big wee on the toilet, today i decided to try him in underoos, so kept asking him and asking him and he never told me when he wanted a wee, so stuck him on the loo a few times and he did wee, he was doing really well, then he wee'd on the couch, then all over the floor and himself, he didnt even bat an eyelid, so have called it a day for today and will try another day, when he is more interested and i'm less tired and stressed

I'm slipping

i can feel it, and i cant stop it - i just cant fight the tiredness anymore, it takes me all my time to lift my arms some days, i just want to sleep and sleep and sleep and sleep some more.

Im battling with Harry at the moment and its horrible, he is either ignoring me so i have to shout to get his attention or he is running round screaming cos he cant get his own way, i have a threenager, and its horrible, im just battling with him all the time and i just want a break, i am trying very hard to choose my battles but its not happening, everything is a battle with him.

on the up side, Abs had her first dry night without a nappy on last night, i'm so proud of her :0)