Usually the few weeks preceeding my hatchday is usually some what of a gloomy affair - another year older ( not necessarily wiser!), another year of missed opportunity, procrastination and annoyance with myself, but not so this time round. Had a bit of an epiphany at the weekend - it was my cousins wedding do, and I was surrounded by family and for the first time in ages I felt truly relaxed and at peace ( it could have been the vast amount of Auntie Vivi's Bombay Sapphire gin that Auntie Jackie was pouring me that did it) I was sat with peeps that love me unconditionally and make me laugh (and also take the piss - i'm looking at you Geoffrey Swift!), I've not seen some of my family since Pheebz christening in May 2009, but we always just pick up where we left off, like we saw them only last week - its a most lovely way to be, Mi Casa Es Su Casa and all that jazz :0)
This new found sense of peace and calm - has got me wondering if university is a good idea for me at all, I know college was pretty intense - 2 A levels and a GCSE in 9 months, but its only now i'm on the other side of it that I can see how bad I was - trying to spilt myself in 4 and be a good student, good mum, good current wife and good friend was just horrid, I felt like I was letting everyone down, not being able to give them my all, and it hurt me deeply - I will have to do the same in September 2011 BUT hopefully the stresses will be lessened with the kids being older, me being mentally better and the support I know I have, and believe me this time I will use it ( friends be warned and offers WILL be taken up on!)
Still trying to fight the money demons - I feel like I should really go get a job to make a contribution to the household pot and not be a sponge - but if I do, then I will really struggle money wise at uni - I just want to feel valuble and I want to be able to move.
and finally hugest and sincere apologies to
- Linda R
- Jojo H
- Mel N
- Mel C
- Melissa B
- Lucy E
- Tracey W
- Mandy F
- Emma C
- Debbie W
- Dee W
and on that note I will end saying "c'mon 36ness and 4 years till the big 40, i'm ready for you!!"
4 comments:
What a lovely post! such positiveness.
Age is just a number,live life at whatever age you like, however you like!
Thank you Karen XXX
Ace Sazzle :D Super positive and very touching post. I look forward to seeing how this year pans out for you, and what you decide to do. So glad you had your epiphany!
You've not been as bad as you think you've been this year though, and you'd be as supportive of any friend who needed it.
40s still young these days! Hell, 50s still young!
Thank you Lindy-poos, the cheques in the post ;0)
Post a Comment