Does your Bum have an apathy button??

I have been feeling a lot like this

I had a bit of an epiph on the way home from town today - after a bit of fresh air, exercise, retail therapy and a good old chin wag with my lovely Linda. I was feeling pretty good - so much so the recycling has been done, bins emptied, washer on, dishes put away, dishes washed, kitchen tidied, to do list done and a brain storming session for blog topics done - pretty much in the space of an hour.

Yesterday was quite a different story - I got up after a rubbish nights sleep, had about 5 minutes of nothingness then the shouting started -

• Get dressed, 
• Put your undies on,
• I dont want to see your willy while i'm eating my breakfast,
• It doesnt take 5 minutes to put A bloody sock on! 
• Get dressed or the telly is going off! 
• Why has the telly gone off? You weren't getting dressed!
• You know the rules fully dressed, socks, shoes, everything and then you can play with the DS.
• Get your lunch box, 
• Get your folder, 
• Switch the light off
• FFS PHOEBE switch the light back off, 
• Pheebz let Abbie help you put your crocs on
• Your crocs Phoebe not Harry's
• No you cant take a lot of toys on the school run
• Can we get out of the house please
• Like NAO!!!!!!
• Stop at the kerb
• Watch the dog poo
• Watch the dog poo
• Stop walking in front of people Harry
• Watch the dog poo
• Stop dawdling
• No running down the hill, its wet and slippy
• Watch the dog poo
• Stop messing about near the side of the road
• Stop running near the road
• Stop pushing past people
• Stop at the kerb
• Watch the dog poo
• Watch the puddles

 All this shouting was probably in a 30 minute period and this is day in day out. Quite frankly I am naffed off with it. They dont put all this in your bounty pack at the hospital! I was so despondent last night - that I had to change into my jim-jams to stop myself going to the so near so spar and buying a bottle of voddy and my body weight in bourbon biscuits.

Because I am shouting so much and i'm so wound up - Shouting has been come the norm, I'm shouting where a calm rational response would have been appropriate. I then feel shit and like the worlds worst because I shouted and then I hate myself a little bit more and the vicious cycle continues.

Getting back to the point of this blog - Arse triggers apathy. Yesterday was also a bad day because I felt down, I sat down and basically did sweet FA, and because I sat down, I didn't feel like doing anything. My inaction made me angry at myself and so the apathy spread. How can you put a stop to the cycle when the person you are most angry at is yourself?? You cant really shout at yourself and give yourself a kick up the arse.

Amongst all this doom, gloom and naysaying - there are a few high spots. My Ipod calms me greatly and i like to sing loudly (and no doubt very badly!) but I am most lucky to have a lot of good friends, Linda and Lucy have been a shoulder to cry on as well as being my coffee and cake pimps!! I have a lot of online buds too, I am eternally grateful to these lovelies too as they let me rant and send me virtual hugs and good advice. I have online friends around the world its lovely to know no matter what time of the day or night it is - there is someone somewhere in the world willing to give me a cyber slap and to tell me to get my head out of my arse!!

I need to start looking afteer myself better, I have lots of plans afoot and if i'm in a pit of despair I cant do them! So I have resloved to treat myself to a drinkie poos once a week - more then likely a Saturday night. Stew and I have also pinched Linda and Kev's idea of one day off a month. So either a sat or a sunday once a month I get a day off - out of the house and kid free and then Stew will do the same. I are also going to impliment a 'date' day  - we will dump the kids on an unsuspecting set of grandparents and go out for lunch or to the flicks or just go for a walk. We need to look after ourselves and each other before we break.