My children are hilarious

This is my absolutely most favourite tune at the moment - I'm a bit of a raver at heart



On my way into town this morning, this came on Radio One. I will admit I emitted a bit of a girlie shriek and shouted "WOOOOT C'mon Pheebz lets go raving" I turned round to look at her and she was WAVING at me, she is so sodding adorable she floors me.

Last week Abbie asked if we could get a pet, I said "No we dont need one, we have your Dad, he needs lots of looking after." She looked thoughtful and then quipped, "But he doesn't swim and he can't lick himself!" I laughed so hard it hurt!! Seriously I think my kids are trying to kill me.

Abbie was writing a story "Muuuuummmm how do you spelt *avingnu*??" I couldnt work out what the blue she was on about, and she was quite insistent that it was this word - turns out she meant *Haven't you* Bless her.

I love my kids and i'm not laughing at them honestly. I'm totally laughing with them

Not an Alpha Mum

Nope, not now not ever!!

Abbie brought home a recipe and cookie cutter from school - Please bake these, sell this and what you dont sell bring into school. so plan was I bake them and Abbie decorates them. A fairly simple fool proof ( Saz-proof) plan.

The Recipe - Pudsey Bear biscuits
serves 24!

7oz self raising flour - check
1oz cocoa powder - dont have, its pouring down, not going out - shouldnt be a problem its only an ounce!
4oz caster sugar - check
4oz margerine - check
1 medium egg beaten - check

various thingys for decorating.

1. Heat oven to  180c  / 350 f / gas mark 4
2. Mix flour, cocoa, sugar, rub in the marge
3. Add enough egg to make a stiff dough
4. Roll out 1/4 inch thick, use bear cutter, place on greased baking tray and bake for 15 minutes.

This will earn me lots of mummy points, my children will adore me, School will thank me, Abbie will gain the respect of all her peers and be uber cool.

Baking take one

Follow all instructions - except chuck all the egg in, wonder why it all running and not rollable, decide to save the day by shoving it in bun cases, bung in oven for 15 minutes actually end up in there for closer to 30!


Baking take two,

Follow ALL the instructions especially with reference to the amount of Egg used

Still cant understand why its so sticky, but not as sticky as take one!!

give up trying to roll it out as its sticking to the rolling pin, resort to flattening it by hand. Use the cookie cutter to produce 8 yes 8!! horrifically mangled bears ( no way I could get 24 of the buggers out of the bloody dough)

Exhbits A - G

So I have 8 bears type things and some biscuity bun type creatures, I fail epically!!! if anyone asks, Abbie made them from scratch by her self  - thats my excuse and i'm sticking to it!

Remember when I said watch this space?

http://sazzleswitterings.blogspot.com/2010/10/fan-fic.html

Well I have been a busy bee!!

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6448597/1/Beautiful_Stranger

I am really enjoying writing, I have the love and support of my Beta, Janine AKA Sweetlovincullen and my lovely friends Linda, Natasha and Lucy. All in all so far I have had good reviews for what I have written and boy oh boy do I get giddy when I read my reviews - Thank you all for your kind words you have all made Saz a very happy girlie.

The inspiration for Beautiful Stranger came in the form of Bad Mother's Handbook. Edward in the Twilight films is very confident and not afraid to be out there. Bella is the dorky, less confident one. So I wondered what it would be like if I mixed things up a bit and had a Dorky Edward and a Ballsy Bella.

This the Edward in my story

I Flove Daniel Gale - he is adorkable and makes me want to do this

 Cuddle or Corrupt that is the question??

Hopefully by the time my story ends Galeward will look like this

 

or this

A girl can dream can't she!!!

I also found on my picture trawl this

 ooooooo this was a toughy but in the end I decided
Do - Tyler
Dump - Art ( Sorry Art, I love you really )
Marry - Daniel

Like I said a girl can dream can't she!!

Its my Daddy's birthday

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!!!!!

My old man is 60 today and he doesn't really want a fuss ( didnt say anything about a birthday blog though did he!!)

Dad and Abbie

This is El Pedro at Craigy's wedding  - absolutely rocking Jim's Stetson! Thats what I should have got him for his birthday *Facepalm*

I am 36 and i'm not ashamed to say I am a daddys girl and also I'm not ashamed to say just how much I love my Dad, which is a bloody lot ( both my parents in fact)

My Dad is cool - very open minded about trying new stuff, you should see his CD collection its far trendier than mine (Jealous much?). I have been to see Billy Connelly with him -  he was laughing that hard I thought he was going to die (Breathe Dad Breathe)!! we have been to Blackburn Rovers matches, Been to see Rammestein and the Foo Fighters.

Now I get to see him having fun with my kids - I can watch them for ages - if mummy or nana says no, go ask grandad he will always say yes!

Have a wonderful day Dad, see you later for your prezzies and kisses from the kids ( headbutts from Pheebz)

Love you lots you silly old sod!

Alright enough all ready

I have had e-fucking-nough, its all bollocks the whole damn lot of it so far in the past 36 hours

• Phoebe face planted in the garden
• Phoebe managed to up end her pushchair and went flying
• Phoebe managed to fall off the couch twice
• Harry wee'd on his bedroom floor
• Abbie had histronics writing my Dad's birthday card after making a mistake after I told her to be careful
• Harry fell on the school run and nearly skittled Abbie
• Phoebe was up at the crack of dawn
• Phoebe has managed to twat her head on a cupboard
• I managed to push the pram through a ginormous mound of dog shit (CLEAN IT UP YOU LAZY FUCKERS!)
• I got pissed wet through on the school run
• put your coats in the bathroom  was taken as dump your coats in the bath
• Phoebe has drawn all over Abigail's picture so now there is two of them screaming
• and no-one wants to do their fecking homework
• Abbie is now shouting at Harry so i've just shouted at her!

Tell you something if I had a valid passport and the money - I would be on a plane right about now