What a day!

So it didnt get off to the best start ever! Harry the Woo up at 04.56, managed to put him back to bed with books and finally had to get up with him at 06.03.

Trailed everyone into town for mine and Stew's eye tests, only to find out the woman had told us tuedays the 27th but had actually put them down for tomorrow, not impressed, Stew was seriously not impressed, so we all flounced out flicking our hair as we went, i did however ring back this afters and remake the appointments for friday morning, it would be daft not to as they were £5.00 each, saving us about £26.00.

This afters we had the second part of the anomly scan, appointment was 3.40 and didnt get in till 4 ish, cue harry being harry and me and stew falling out as we were both telling him off.

It was worth it as Abbie was very excited to see the scan, baby is perfect, very active and we are having a little GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!

Abbie is very happy to be having a sister, I nearly cried, I wanted another girl mainly to hopefully avoid middle child syndrome, whether or not it will work, i have no clue.

I rang mum, dad, and Margeret when i came out and they all sounded very pleased as well, feel a bit sad for Harry, he isnt that bad, just very active and a real handful - I just dont think I could have coped with another boy, I would have been too worried it would be like Harry, not that there is anything wrong with him, he just hits life head on, so roll on september ( just watch it will have a willy when it pops out LOL)

crap, crappity, crap, crap

or how to describe how i feel in 4 words LOL

Good grief, I'm pathetic! i have a cold, I have snotter streaming and delightful green stuff coming off my chest everytime i cough *barf*, I am nearly wetting myself with every sneeze and the sides of my bump hurt with coughing and sneezing so much, oh i'm really enjoying being me right about now.

In other news 5 days to my re-scanning, so im thinking lots of open leggy vibes for the spud, abbie will be coming with us and she is so excited, its the first scan she will have been too, so I hope we can find out, it would be nice to have us all there.

Have just spoken to the parent education midwife, she does a 3 hours breastfeeding workshop, so i have the 1st set of dates , will see if I can go to any of those, but I think I may have to leave it till later July / Aug time with the kids and school runs and stuff, I am actually doing something pro-active towards breastfeeding, Im excited, and scared all at the same time, what a goonberry honestly *rolls eyes*

That reminds me i need to see if I can find an article online from last months practical parenting, best do that now before i forget

Today, I am mostly wearing ranty pants

*B*A*D* *M*O*O*D* *A*L*E*R*T*

Geez louise, do I feel crappy, the cough from hell is back, so tena ladies a go go, I'm coughing that much its making me retch ( watering mouth almost to the point of vomitting) and its teamed with the heartburn from hell.

On top of which Harry, my little darling boy, my light of my life decided that he would get up at 1.45am, 2.40am, 3.20am, 4.00am and then finally 4.10am at which point he conked out and the slept till 7.30 ( GIT!)

I feel like shite, and so very very low, and the black thoughts are rolling in, mainly about breastfeeding, if i cant cope with Harry getting up thru the night, how the blue blazes am I going to cope with a newborn possibly feeding every 2 hours???? I know it will be different in that Im not going to be pregnant, and i suppose i can catch an hour or so after the school run, but i'm just so so scared that the PND will come back<>

The merits of breastfeeding appeal to me big time, the benefits to the bubbie, the conveinence of it, the costs involved (none).

I'm just so scared of being a failure again, I failed the other 2 and i so want this one to be different, and i'm determined that this one will be different, if i keep saying it over and over then I should believe it, just need to kep on top of my negative inner bitch and we will be fine!

Arseburgers!!!!

was at the GD clinic today, had a few questions answered then found out that this pregnancy will more then likely leave me with type 1 diabetes ARSE!!!!!!!!! I knew that there was a risk of type 2 somewhere in the future, but this has kinda floored me. It turns out that i have an insulin deficiency so wether or not i come off insulin after delivery remains to be seen, The Dr said I will be the exception to the rule if i do managed to come off insulin, so to get used to all the injections and monitioring, he even went so far to say that i possibly could have been diabetic before i got pregnant, because of how early i was diagnosed, and how soon i was on insulin this time round, and my underactive thyroid.

Ah well just another sazzle saga *rolls eyes*

Who says wishes dont come true????

Okay I have been thinking about this a lot, yesterday I was gutted as we couldnt find out wether the baby is an Arfur or a Marfa, Today, im not so gutted TBH, I think because this was Stewb's first and probably only scan, I wanted it to be perfect for him and he wanted to know the sex more than I did, I really wanted a surprise this time round with this one being third and final! I will admit if we found out, I wouldnt be gutted BUT a part of me still wants the surprise, but I think knowing what we have would make the naming process a lot easier, and i can start getting little bits

Blimey I sound confuddled dont I!?!?!?!

But my resolve is this, if on May the 27th 2008 @3.40pm, spud, still has its big old feet in the way, we will wait until delivery day BUT i will be slightly worried that it might actually have its foot growing out of its bum!

Sleep boy sleep!!!!

Harry definately thinks sleep is for wimps, he was up 6 times in 2 hours in the early hours of yesterday morning, and he decided that 5.45am was a good time to get up today GGRRRRR, Harry i love you very much, I would love you even more if i got a full nights sleep.

On the upside of being awake early, Stew took Harry downstairs just after 6 so i got to lie on my side and not have someone snoring in my face, and i must have been squashing the spud, because he/she soon let me know, a good couple of minutes of being kicked YAY, it was the most movement i have felt in a while, and its so reassuring.

mean while in 4 days time we will hopefully not have a shy baby and know what we are being blessed with!

I got my blood work back from the madwife appointment i had on friday, my thyroid function has dropped from 19.3 to 16.7 and mt FBC has dropped from 13.8 to 11.7, I know the range for fbc is 12-15, so by my reckoning i'm anaemic, I have an appointment at the hospital on Tuesday and hopefully i will come away with a prescription for more thyroxine or iron, either way i need something, im absolutely shattered

pro-activiness ( is that the word??)

right......after the whinge of yesterday! I am taking control and making plans, i am going to measure up in the kids bedroom, and look at realistically what we can fit where, i want these for their bedroom
http://www.homebase.co.uk/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?langId=-1&storeId=20001&partNumber=6619615&c_3=3%7Ccat_9577568%7CChildren%27s+beds%7C9577571&c_2=2%7Ccat_9576997%7CChildren+and+nursery%7C9577568&c_1=1%7Ccategory_root%7CFurniture+and+Homewares%7C9576997

plan is their drawers and toys can go under the beds, so technically when you walk in the room you see 2 midsleepers and 2 wardrobes and thats it! and hopefully there will be a little bit of floor space left ( not that they actually play in their rooms).

The beds they have now, will go to my mums, the little bed she has for Harry will go in the littlest room with the cot for the baby, hopefully nipper will be in our room for a while, unlike noisy flappy harry who lasted all of 3 weeks *rolls eyes* and if the littley is up during the night i can always kip on the little bed in the same room, right i suppose i need to get measure to make sure all this can actually be a reality.

I am planning to put the kids in the same room at the beginning of the summer holidays, so if he wakes early and she wants to sleep on she can do, then they have 6 weeks to get used to it before school and nursery starts

I also have some more tidying jobs planned for today as i need to feel like i have achieved something today other than sitting on my arse being angry with everything! so will be back later to let you know how much i have knocked off the list!

and im also planning to blog everyday where i can, i cant believe how much better i feel for talking to Jo and blogging the crap out of my head!