look! look! look!

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7129171/1/Taking_one_for_the_Team


GIDDY!!!!!

The Vomit Comet hit me

and how!!!

My little vomit comet was actually acute appendicitis  - cue emergency op, 5 days in hospital, 5 days IV antibiotics, 5 days antibiotics when I came home, a 5-6 inch scar and a post op wound infection.

All I can say is thank FUCK you only have one appendix and I would also like to say a huge FUCK YOU to my perforated appendix, you are a bastard, you nearly killed me, I have a second chance and a scar that scares the kids !

Okay Okay I admit defeat

A blog a day was a big stretch, but I managed 6 months with various catch ups. Real life has booted my arse and will be for the foreseeable future, SO I am admitting I am defeated BUT I am not giving up altogether I am  aiming for at least a blog post a week, more if I am so inclined.

Oh and another resolution of mine is to stop planning!! Kids at my mums tonight = time for Stew and I, Stew is currently in bed after puking till 2am. I'm shattered and pondering who the vomit comet will hit next :0/

Funnies

Okay - Blogger is not happy

So will be back later - 6 to go

LOL CATS

Summer holidays

Starts at 15.15 tomorrow - YAY for not having to get up and rush in the morning. POO for 7 weeks, yes SEVEN weeks of all 5 of us under one roof. I have a list of stuff that needs doing so hopefully that should keep us all occupied! I had decided to do the hols without drinking, but I may end up in the nut house, so will stop drinking in Sept to have a clear head for uni

more music

and this one

This one makes me want to buy Roller boots ( I had some in my yoof and i'm hanjering for more)

music I like

LMFAO - I shouldnt like this but I do

My Nokia

Went to phone heaven, taking loads of phone numbers and stuff with it. T-Mobile wouldn't let me upgrade early without loosing the fab contract I am on. So I jumped ship to ORANGE and snagged a fab deal and this little beauty

 How did I survive without a blackberry before now?

Today Lancaster looks like this

Wet, Wet, Wet

Diagnosis Harry part two

My Gorgeous sunny boy has Aspergers also known as HFA (High Functioning Autism). Harry scored 13/22 on his ADOS which definiately puts him on the Autistic Spectrum (any score over 7 and he would have been on the spectrum).

Stew and I were a bit blindsided to be honest, believe me there is a BIG difference between thinking and knowing. I had a teary moment or two the night of the diagnosis and woke up the next morning thinking - Fuck It!!!!!

Now we move forward and help Harry any damn way we can - I am Mama Bear hear me roar!!!

17

to catch up - had a real disinclination to blog. Have been feeling better maybe thats why?

Tomorrow

Harry has his appointment at Long lands - I'm hoping we will finally get the diagnosis we have been waiting 3 years for, but I'm really not trying to get my hopes up.

I feel quite bizarre I don't know whether to laugh or cry really. We will be out of limbo but it will be all official either H has ASD or I am a shit parent.

Either way I'm making sure I have plenty of wine on tap!

This song was bouncing about my head last night

and let me tell you it is not conducive to a good nights sleep!!!!

Pic time!

Well done mum!

I'm very proud of my mum, after many years or smoking (40 yrs) she is in the process of stopping smoking :0)

In the past 3 weeks she has only had 2 and half ciggies.

Skinny on zyban is a sight to behold though! She is like a sober drunk - aggressive yet forgetful LOL

Well done mum, we are very proud of you and yes we will still tease you  :0P

Kids are horrible

Following on from my Zumba brag post - Abbie was very interested in the whys and wherefores and how the Zumba Wii worked. I explained that you wear a belt and put your mote in it, and as you jig about copying the screen, you fill an energy meter and you progress through the levels.

Abbie looked me up and down and uttered the immortal words - The belt fits around YOU!! gee thanks Abigail - you sure help me feel good about myself!

Race for Life

This Sunday @ 11 am I am racing for life again, I love it, I don't do very well - but I get a mega buzz for being there and its such an affirmation to do this to raise money for such a worthy cause

Diagnosis Harry

Thursday 7th (next Thursday) we have an appointment with the Dr's for the results of the ADOS and all other assessments on Harry, I really hope we get a diagnosis, at least I will know if its him or my shite parenting.

I am so worried about this but at least we will know one way or the other - if we do get an ASD diagnosis, I am going to staple it to the school doors, so they know its not me.

An ASD diagnosis is fine by me, I don't care it they cant pin it down to aspergers or anything like that - just to know he is on the spectrum is fine by me, so we can get all the help Harry needs and be able to move forward as a family, and not stuck in the limbo we have been in for the last 3 and a half years

Stop Harry Time!!

Just over 2 weeks and its Harry Potter 7 part 2 and I cant wait

Giddy giddy giddy - even though I have read the book several times - I know I am going to sob *gets waterproof mascara* Roll on 15th July

Pheebz

The horns are there to keep the halo straight - or so she says!!

She has so far this week drawn on the walls and the carpet with a dry wipe marker, she has drawn on the nappy holder, the kitchen cupboards, wangled her way on to and off the tra-ma-po-line by her self using a trike and sheer willpower. She also yesterday in the space of about 2 minutes managed to cover herself and my bedding in vaseline. Seriously she is a nightmare, a very cute nightmare!

Harry's Funny

I swear Harry will end up on stage!

On Monday he walked into the living room door - he was bouncing about shouting that he had broken his arm ankle - We soon realised that he meant his ELBOW!!! Harry is unintentionally hilarious and that is a big part of is appeal.

No shades of grey with my boy!

Zumba

Last week I tried Zumba and it was ace! I can also give Tena lady lights a glowing recommendation as well LOL ( 3 pregnancies, 2 hooogh babies = knackered pelvic floor)

I also got Zumba for the Wii and this is also ace! I had aimed to do 20 minutes a day, I managed Wed, Thur, Fri - I will try better next week

Birthday Blues

Next Friday is my 37th birthday - now usually the week or two before my birthday, I get quite despondent - lamenting the waste of another year and generally hating on myself (more than usual) but this year I am going to tempt fate and say I feel quite chipper, I have uni to look forward to and a whole load of me time (hopefully)

LOL watch me just jinx myself and have the downer of all downers now

Pmt

I am feeling very much like this today - I have PMT and I need a hug and I want to cry. I have cried today over the most steeeeoooooppppiiidddddd things. I am fighting the urge to have wine and chocolate. I will be strong!

Today I published this

Taking one for the team

This is the fabulous Banner that Evieeden made

I wrote it for this wonderful fundraiser http://fandomfightstsunami.blogspot.com/ - they have raised nearly £70 thousand dollars for the red cross and its just jaw dropping!

Thank you to everyone who organised this, wrote for this and donated money towards it, you are all fabulous and you should be very proud of yourselves.

My next project

I'm writing a piece for this http://fandom4lls.blogspot.com/.

A very worthwhile cause indeed. I am planning a Edward X Bella fic - Nerdy Edward Natch! and a side serving of Emmett induced fun (well it makes me laugh)

I need to tell you about Ted. Ted is the most amazing kid I've never met! I am in awe of his family, they are just simply amazing. I hope one day I get to meet the Drummonds, I want to hug them all and drink wine with Sarah.

Here is a little more about Ted and his family


http://www.bechildcanceraware.org/child-cancer-info/useful-links/  His mum and dad  - John and Sarah, set up this website, you may have even seen some of the BCCA info cards in your local schools. If you have children of any age, read this website - it may just save your child's life - read the symptoms and be vigilant!

http://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/4148174.Super_Ted___s_cancer_fight_earns_him_a_Little_Star/

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/2851267/Boy-punches-coma-doctor.htmlSeriously there are no words to how fabulous Ted is!

Tomorrow

Is an teacher enforced inset day - well the teachers are striking. They are unhappy with the Governments plans to their pensions, I cannot blame them, people need to make a stand. Unions are a good thing. The only down side is I have to be on my own with the kids all day.

I'm praying for a nice day - I'm nicking the car off stew and if its a nice day, we are heading willy bob's park

Wish me luck!

I am a bad mummy

I was bragging about my whoopee cushion prowess - I had a captive audience (well Abbie and Harry) I inflated the cushion, put it on the arm of the chair, parked my fat arse on it  there was a huge farting noise, a wobble of arse and WC and a pop as the Whoopee cushion gave out and popped. Harry was devastated that his mummy killed his whoopee cushion with her big fat bum. He has told several people this :0(

To assuage my guilt, I ran uptown today and bought him a new one, a self inflating one which my arse is going no where near!

Catching up - but I have a good excuse!!

The little box that all  my online friends live in was broken.

Fidgety child + red wine + Laptop  = unhappy Saz!!  - would just like to point out that fidgety child didn't have the red wine, I was putting down the red wine while telling fidgety child not to fidget, and was kicked by said fidgety child, there was a slopping of alcohol, a massive amount of shouting, a failed windows service pack all culminating in a week long abstinence from the internet :0(

This was fixed by my uber fabulous hubbie - who acquired a new keyboard and spent 12 hours sorting out the service pack.

So Now I have 16 blogs to sort out - on with the show

URGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH what a day!

I've put Beautiful Stranger on hiatus, and I've deleted some one shots I did - I'm not feeling the love at the moment. I am however working on two Carlisle x Bella fics and a one shot for the  http://www.fanfiction.net/~spankthemonkey4u comp that is currently running.

Why does my mojo keep fucking off??? I would love a few days just to write, that would be epic!

Brain update

Along with getting rid of deadlines, I have also finished my CBT - I am feeling okay at the moment, I have lots of information; negative self esteem issues, thought diaries, worry trees and a lot on biased expectations. I'm getting there, slowly but surely :0)

Heat is my nemesis!!!

Twice I have burnt my hand in the last week.

I was distracted by Rob while ironing and burned my hand and then I forgot what I was doing while cooking tea and tried to adjust the pan runner thingys on the hob and burnt the pads of my Thumb and index finger - there may or may not have been some swearing (there was believe me - a lot!!)

Cold water is my friend

Events in June

Quite a few this month

• My cousin Mike's birthday - 34
• My Mums Birthday - 57
• Mum and Dads wedding anniversary - 38 years
• Brett and Adele's first wedding Anni
• Auntie Viv's birthday - 56

Lots of cake occassions :0)

Hating on co-stars

Small minority of fandom get a fucking grip! If you keep hating on Rob's co-stars making them uncomfortable, threats etc - no one will want to work with him! you will render him unemployable! He will fade into nothingness - which will be an absolute fucking shame.

Rob is allowed to talk to other women, he is allowed to laugh with them and he is allowed smile at them. Just because he is away from Kristen doesn't mean he is going to run off with another woman. So ladies of the minority get a grip or risk being bitch slapped!

Fandom for Storms

I am writing for these guys
 http://fandom4stormrelief.tumblr.com/Contributing-Author-Information

It is a very worthy cause!

This is my banner

My Story is called Carlisle Cullen: a series of firsts

The Carlisle we all know and love is very strong and the patriarch. What if he isn't? What if he is shy, bumbling, nerdy Carlisle?? My story will be short (7-8 chapters) chronicalling Carlisle as he moves through life.

No More Deadlines!

I am a silly moo, this has been well documented! I keep having epiphanies - my latest is deadlines. I keep giving myself deadlines.

• get myself off anti-depressents
• get well before I go to uni
• get all my fics written and published

I am driving myself insane, so it stops now, things will happen when they happen

Zen Saz!!

My new ink will be

.................................. This

 Its Japanese for Worthy of love - it will be going on either the inside of my forearm or my wrist on my right arm.

I am doing this to remind myself that I am worthy of love, family, my children, Stew and my friends.

On Friday

Stewbert and I went to watch this

Bloody fantastic!!! I want to go and watch it again!!

i'm drifting

Away from writing Edward x Bella fics and I am hurtling towards Carlisle and Bella fic (both reading and writing them)

I adore Carlisle Cullen / Peter Facinelli - he is the alpha dilf

Jackson Rathbone

I Have made no secret of my appreciation for Rob Pattinson, Peter Facinelli, Kellan Lutz - I will also admit to having an appreciation of Taylor Lautner. The only one that I just cant get my head around is old Jbone.

Jackson I sincerley apologise - you are a good looking gent, but you just look grubby! Brunette and Tats are hawt but I just dont feel the love for you. I am so sorry :0(

The first pic is probably my favourite, but the rest I just want to chuck him in the bath and scrub behind his ears.

To all Jacksper fans, forgive me!

Harry

Tomorrow (13th) Harry is being observed in school and then we are taking him up to Longlands for his ADOS (Autisitic disorder observation sheet) tomorrow afternoon. This is a double edged sword for me - we could finally get the diagnosis and the help we need with Harry. On the flipside we could also find out there is nothing wrong with him and we are just shit parents - I know in my heart of hearts its the former - I dont think I could cope if its the latter

Catching up AGAIN!

Seriously peeps, I really need to get my arse in gear - I've been blogging now since the first of January and it takes me minutes to do, so I should do it everday not leave it to a mass bloggage.

one down - 11 to go *rolls eyes*

Queen

Over the past few nights Stewbertina ballerina and I watched the Queen documentary on BBC 2

It was bloody brilliant, although I did cry when they were talking about Freddie dying, I sobbed a lot actually.

I want to leave you with some of my favourite queen songs

Today

I fell on my arse big style - total wipeout!

Small child climbing + Saz moving quickly + Saz wearing crocs+ Gelli baff on the floor on the messy area = Saz on floor.

On the plus side, my arse is well padded and no one laughed so its all good.

Catch up catch up catch up

I have blogs planned but no time before midnight, so watch out for a Bond blog and a hate blog!

I flove this song

Born This Way Lyrics

It doesn't matter if you love him or capital H-I-M
Just put your paws up
'Cause you were born this way, baby

My mama told me when I was young
We are all born superstars
She rolled my hair and put my lipstick on
In the glass of her boudoir

There's nothin' wrong with lovin' who you are
She said, 'cause He made you perfect, babe
So hold your head up, girl and you you'll go far
Listen to me when I say

I'm beautiful in my way
'Cause God makes no mistakes
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Don't hide yourself in regret
Just love yourself and you're set
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way, born this way

Ooh, there ain't no other way, baby, I was born this way
Baby, I was born this way
Ooh, there ain't no other way, baby, I was born this way
I'm on the right track, baby, I was born this way

Don't be a drag, just be a queen
Don't be a drag, just be a queen
Don't be a drag, just be a queen
Don't be

Give yourself prudence and love your friends
Subway kid, rejoice of truth
In the religion of the insecure
I must be myself, respect my youth

A different lover is not a sin
Believe capital H-I-M
http://www.elyricsworld.com/born_this_way_lyrics_lady_gaga.html
I love my life, I love this record and
Mi amore vole fe yah

I'm beautiful in my way,
'Cause God makes no mistakes
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Don't hide yourself in regret,
Just love yourself and you're set
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Ooh, there ain't no other way, baby, I was born this way
Baby, I was born this way
Ooh, there ain't no other way, baby, I was born this way
I'm on the right track, baby, I was born this way

Don't be drag, just be a queen
Whether you're broke or evergreen
You're black, white, beige, chola descent
You're Lebanese, you're orient

Whether life's disabilities
Left you outcast, bullied or teased
Rejoice and love yourself today
'Cause baby, you were born this way

No matter gay, straight or bi
Lesbian, transgendered life
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born to survive

No matter black, white or beige
Chola or orient made
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born to be brave

I'm beautiful in my way
'Cause God makes no mistakes
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way

Don't hide yourself in regret,
Just love yourself and you're set
I'm on the right track, baby
I was born this way, yeah

Ooh, there ain't no other way, baby, I was born this way
Baby, I was born this way
Ooh, there ain't no other way, baby, I was born this way
I'm on the right track, baby, I was born this way
I was born this way, hey
I was born this way, hey
I'm on the right track, baby, I was born this way, hey

I was born this way, hey
I was born this way, hey
I'm on the right track, baby, I was born this way, hey


Songwriters: Blair, Paul; Garibay, Fernando; Germanotta, Stefani; Laursen, Jeppe Breum

Another Anthem of epic proportions!!! She is as mad as a box of frog but blimey she can sing and her lyrics speak volumes.

 

You HAVE to read this

http://www.thewriterscoffeeshop.com/library/viewstory.php?sid=348

 Total crack fic!!!! Read it read it NAO!!!!!

Gratuitious Rob

Steal my Thunder why dont you!!!

Yes Aphid I am talking to you! Curse you Gerry the Greenfly!

This morning was epic for all the wrong reasons - The pushchair broken, well the raincover broke and snaggled up the wheels, which dragged the raincover under the wheels, which caused a tipping motion that buckled the hood. This happened several times! The most epic was on the school run crossing the road.

I made sure it was clear to go and asked the kids to cross, I stepped forward and raincover snaggage occurred, so I stepped back, the kids stepped back too, so I told them to go again as it was still clear and they just stood looking at me.

Once I had got everything sorted (there may have been some swearing) I crossed over to the kids, asked them to face me, put on my most stern mummy face and told them ( as I have several times before) if I say go I mean GO!

The kids looked suitable sheepish with my ire and wrath, Abigail opened her mouth to speak - this is most unusual, an Abigail apology - but no she uttered the words ............................... Mum you have a bug on your lip.

A chuffing green fly stole my thunder, impressed I am not!

Hellfire

Things change quickly!!

I woke up this morning to a lovely pm on FF.net about the one shot I submitted for the Tsunami fundraiser

I just wanted to say i just read this story from the compilation and I loved it. It was well written and an interesting story. Thanks for sharing.

This absolutely made my day, knowing what I know now, I should have stayed in my bedroom in my little review bubble.

I get down stairs to find that Phoebe had completely wrecked the iPod touch charger, Harry had trapped his jacket in the table and broken the zip off. My head is banging and my tummy is so sore, so the black mood has descended all by 8.11am - seriously peeps give me a break!

So now me and my little black cloud are sat on the couch and I am talking myself out of eating the packet of bourbon biscuits that are in the cupboard.

Please send donations of willpower to depressedfatlass@comforteating.com - Thank you  X

utterly beautiful song

Not getting my hopes up BUT...

Ooooh, things are slowly but surely falling into place on the Uni finance front.  I have had my student loan application approved; tuition fees are covered and I also qualify for a maintenance grant as well as a loan. I’m looking at roughly £2000 a term which will have to cover train fares and stationary. To stop me going on an almighty spending spree, I will be setting up a separate Uni bank account. I am working on the theory, if I can’t see it, I can’t spend it.

I have finally received the childcare grant application so my job this week is to get it filled in and sent off. Childcare is going to be a major factor in whether or not I go to Uni.  I am going to give it a bloody good go; I know it’s going to be hard, but I would rather try this and fail then sit at the age of eighty regretting what could have been, also I want to move house and we need to be earning mega bucks for that – well not mega bucks, but if all spawn are in the school system, I will be able to get a job and be able to contribute to the family pot. 

Watch this space!!!!

In an Octopuses Garden

Some days I wish I was an Octopus, because I am surgically attached to my laptop (all my online friends live in there and it has all my Rob/Cullen boys p0rn on it). It is rather difficult purchasing food and beverages in my day off home (Starbucks – they should pay me for all the mentions today!) 

I had no qualms about leaving my bag or hoodie, but my mobile is now in my bra cup – poor GQ Rob he is face down in my bewbie. The simple act of purchasing a Panini, a mug of tea and a cinnamon swirl was hampered by a laptop under one arm and a purse in the other! I am currently sat upstairs, there is a plug socket and my Laptop battery is dodgy at best, so to get back to my table I had to wrestle with a tray, 2 doors and a set of stairs all while not spilling or dropping my food and securely hugging my laptop. I am pleased to say we all got back to the table in piece and now I’m stuffed!

I just have to sing!!!!!!

I’m being tortured!

I am in Starbucks listening to my iPod and all the songs that I heart a lot and I can’t sing ARRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH.

I love singing, don’t worry you won’t see me on X Factor or any shite like that. I don’t sing terribly well (That sentence should read I sing terribly) but I enjoy it, music lifts me, and vocalising that is just brilliant.

My iPod is torturing me, Biffy clyro – Many of Horror followed by Blink 182 – All the Small things. I just want to sing really loudly. Oh chuff, Pendulum is now. I’m silently mouthing the words but it’s not quite the same!

GET ME TO A KAROAKE BAR STAT!!